Friday, October 14, 2011

Finding Our Way

Here in the South we pride ourselves on hospitality. Usually you get a good morning, How ya’ll doin or come back real soon. Meals are big and so are our hearts. If you are lost, most of the time you can pull over and ask a complete stranger for directions, even if you happen to venture in the wrong side of town. For the most part, people around here will sincerely try to help you.
I say that to say this. A little over 5 years ago I was lost, wandering through life with no plan. I wasted a few years and had no true direction. One person changed that completely. She was crazy enough to hop on the back of a motorcycle on a frigid January night and she hasn’t let go yet. I had just happened upon her one night in the midst of my disaster of a so-called life and she pointed me in the right direction.
Now like most people that give you directions, they aren’t always clear, you kind of have to guess a little along the way. I don’t think she was prepared for how things were going to go. I knew then that she would be the one that could keep me going forward, but she definitely wasn’t ready for that. Eventually she embraced that role and she has been there for me ever since. We have had our ups and downs in such a short period, but I don’t know what I would do without her. She has been my rock and my guiding light! She has forgiven when others would condemn. She has been there for me when things haven’t worked out like we thought they would and she has pushed me to get back up after I have been knocked down.
Life’s struggles wear us down but together we push through it. Together we try to be loving and caring parents for our two amazing kids! We try to stretch things out to be able to give them the things they want. She has sacrificed more than I can say for me and our family. We try to comfort each other when things don’t go our way. Times get tough, money runs out but she is always there. I needed that in my life and hopefully the struggles will ease but the love and comfort will get stronger.The truth of the matter is that she is not just the light but she is my guide. I could not go through life without her by my side. She is my world, a fact that I probably don’t show her enough or tell her either. When I think about the future she is right there, when I make a decision, she is the deciding factor. She is truly my better half. And as long as she will light the way I will keep her close and walk the path that she takes us down!  We haven’t got there yet, but we are in the right direction!
To 5 years past and many, many more to come…. Happy Anniversary

Monday, March 21, 2011

Perspective


When I woke up this morning I thought certain things would take place as usually do on a typical Monday. I woke up a little later than usual which happens too often, so it should be called the usual. I took the trash out as is now my Monday and Thursday morning tradition, as to keep the peace in my house. I pulled up to the Railroad tracks going out of my neighborhood behind a minivan that belongs to my somewhat neighbor and dear co-worker. I started to gesture to her, I poke at her at work because she hardly ever sees anyone on the road, but this morning I held back for some unknown reason, maybe it was too early…
I stopped to get gas before I came in to the office; $15 just doesn’t cut it in a late model Chevy truck with a way too big engine. I started my typical morning routine; quote of the day, email and check the news. Nothing out of the ordinary but then I pulled out my phone and checked Facebook. I haven’t paid much attention to it all weekend so there was a lot of “junk” to sift through. But as I was perusing my news feed I noticed a comment on someone’s wall, someone offering prayers for their loss.
The wall belonged to my co-worker, the one I had seen this morning. I hadn’t heard anything, maybe a friend or a distant relative. So I clicked on her wall and read through the comments. Here wall was covered with prayers and condolences but nothing telling of what had transpired. Then someone mentioned a name and my heart dropped. The name was her Husband’s but I had thought that maybe someone else near to her family bore the same name. So I went to her boss’s office and checked in. She told me the tragic news. I sank into shock. To be honest I’m not real close to her or her family but from time to time we talk and converse on personal matters, enough to know about her daughters and for me to tell her about my growing family. I knew her husband well enough to speak if I saw him and I know he and their two daughters were extremely close. Immediately my thoughts went to them.
How do we deal with such a loss? As a Husband I can’t imagine losing my wonderful wife. I can’t think about what would happen to her and my kids if something happened to me. I haven’t dealt directly with a loss this severe. Death is inevitable but you come to expect time. We forget how fragile time is. Through petty arguments and not appreciating the moments you share with your loved ones we turn our heads on the fact that time is limited. How many times have you hung up on someone, went to sleep angry or even drove off after an argument? That might be the last you ever see that person, hear their voice or feel their touch. How many times have you said not now or just a minute. That precious moment might be the last.
I don’t want to be a downer, just the opposite. I just to want show a little perspective. The loss of life is tragic and devastating especially when it is sudden. I have experienced this from a distance but never first hand. What is the best way to console a person, what can you say or do when their world has shattered?
This morning I saw her and something kept me from making some wild gesture. Was that divine interference? I think it was. God works in mysterious ways and this morning he helped me keep foot out of mouth. Now through her family and friends he helps console her and her two daughters. So if you are reading this please send out your prayers and thoughts for the Donaho family. They need all of the love and support in this tough time of loss.